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late luminescence

 photo: thrifty's mint choc chip + cotton candy icecream :))

11/8/21: "I know you don't want to hear from me, but I am selfish"


Perhaps a little lonely, too.

There is nothing quite like ping pong,
a kid made of mischief and wayward grins clicking the flashlight:

on. and off. and on and off and on.

And then staring into an abyss,
falling into the habit of trusting there will always be
another lighthouse flashing back.

Kismet. There is a witty romance in the word,
a feather light kiss and a "well met" that's stuck in your cheek.
I wish, I wish, I wish I could have my pick
of grapes on the trellis, or fruit from the orchard.

And yet, a part of me knows not to waste my Angel numbers
and lucky dimes on things that could bring me to my knees.

See, that's for selfish prayers at night. Wondering what love is,
what God is, what I am. No matter how far I go, home is the heart
in this breast, the breath in this chest.

My mom says I best well not forget it,
even as I will feel sorry for it, most days.

I will wonder if people love the moon more than the sun,
even if I know I do not.

Because the suns in the sky, the stars, even they must
want to be heard, to travel so far.

I am not bold enough to say they are envious,
but wouldn't it be something if everyone realized
even the stars get lonely too.

The fires all go cold, and all feel It creeping in
sometimes. Still they burn.


March 23, 2022 No comments
photo: sunset and phone lines silhouette in Arcadia, CA 

11/6/21: "I've been trying not to think about it, but I can't help it"

Refrozen
I can't help but huff a small laugh
As I bask in the fog while you run away
--straight into another stranger.

We are strangers too, your back reminds me.

And yet, I can pull out my phone to say,

"hey"

"yeah"

"that was awkward"

Because I know you, and we know absolutely nothing.

I've been trying to do things without reason,
you know, just because.

I fish around my pocket for my coupons of courage,
and watch your retreating figure do the same.

The crisp day raises an eyebrow at the checkout line,
so we quickly pull out our bills of silence, rumpled soft.

Which is really to say we pull out our earbuds and our phones,
and plug into something that will make the loss feel less lonely.

Ice refrozen is harder to break than before.
And, our courage at 7 am is well,

sleepy~
November 06, 2021 No comments
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Message from Yours Truly

Hey, this is amaryllis :) So, if you're on here, I probably finally allowed you to read my work or this was a totally accident (happy one I hope). Either way, welcome! Also, as a reminder to those who know me-- remember that although much of it may seem like it's based off irl, some of it is fiction. Enjoy, and if you feel compelled to, I would love to see what you think in the comments!

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