when they tell me to dance

by - August 01, 2020


graceful filigree, i wanted to be beautiful like them
but when i danced, baring my soul, they chanted

posture, posture, posture

i am a wobbly skyscraper ready to topple
among a world of mini glass villas

they are tiny rosettes in full bloom
stems arcing upright, princess petals flushed
with prim smiles and sleek hair anointed with morning dew

and i, the errant ugly palm tree
whose dry leaves are stubbornly unrecyclable
the frothy tulle looks ridiculous,
out of place, against my lanky trunk

the harsh voice of the laoshi punctuates my name
all wrong, all wrong, all wrong
the smack on my rump doesn't sting, but
the blatant disapproval behind it aches

too old to be cute, 
too clumsy to be elegant

and when they ask us to split ourselves
open against cruel tile, triumphant smiles mirrored
i stumble, still attempting to rip myself smaller
sweaty bar slips in my hairy hand,
wrinkled compared to their peachy youth

the swan's feathers unfurl, delicate lilting melodies
i palm the beat and am dragged behind every note
shriveled brown marrs pale marble

and when my nails tire of being filled with filth
clawing to be even a speck of mud on their dainty toes

the music plays, they bloom, I walk away
for years, their smirks and voices haunt me, taunting
swans and tulle, mascara and eyeshadow
avoiding all the reminders, the proof that I

gave up, gave up, gave up

so now, when they tell me to dance
I tell them I don't know how
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4 comments

  1. AscheAugust 30, 2020 at 1:15 PM

    AHHHHH MY HEART IS BLEEDING
    AMARYLLIS
    MY HEART IS BLEEDING
    THIS IS SO BEAUTIFUL
    Oh my gosh, this is so beautiful; this is astounding; this is one of my favorite poems by youuuuuu.

    WOAH

    Those last three lines???
    PERFECT
    HEARTWRENCHING
    UNEXPECTED
    Yesssssss

    I love this so much <3 <3

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. amaryllisOctober 4, 2020 at 9:04 PM

      I just figured out to reply with my email haha but THANK YOU THAT IS SUCH A HUGE COMPLIMENT FROM YOU. And exactly how I feel when I read all of your short stories. :D

      Delete
  2. AnonymousDecember 16, 2020 at 9:03 PM

    Those last lines really hit hard.
    This is amazing.

    ReplyDelete

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