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late luminescence





photo: Identity Logan Park, Berkeley (12/14/23)

say hunger.

hunger, hunger, hunger.

it is the u, a cup to be held to the sky,
stretches itself wide and wider

until flat.

land, doormat,
blanket, horizon

the groan of the g suspended in the back of my throat,
a jury waiting, craving, perhaps in vain,
the openness of the mouth in saying want.

to conquer, to step on,
to cover, to kneel on

say hunger, hunger, hunger
and watch. ivy, envy,

primality. the apple and puddle
sing to tantalus.

what wants to consume
is consumed
to be filled in, 
full,

with dreams of the lovelier,
the safer, the freer. truer, bluer, newer,
said promise me more.

brimming with an empty, a bile,
a graceless acid. angular elbows mimic 
what is sharply hollow,

rolls around your stomach

ungrateful.

sloshing.

December 18, 2023 No comments

 


photo: Houston, TX


again. 

it feels like everything ive written has already been written
before im 19 and already a broken record player from far away
enough, similar things just become the same me wish i knew how
to dance. i wish i knew a defiance
uncorrelated with violence. i leave a kindness out to rot in
its plastic togo cup on
my desk, and in silence
it curdles and goes. sour. i keep meaning to toss
it but never seem to get it done. maybe if i make
it poetic enough, it’ll be worth
keeping again that’s another problem
with me– i won’t get anything done until
i have to what happens when the world does not force 
me to adapt– will i
ev
er
grow? or just keep
hit
ting
return.

first written 5/18/23, edited on 8/10/23


August 10, 2023 No comments

photo: Kemah Bay, TX

Hello, hello, hello. Once again, it's unfortunately been a long time. Every time I decide I want to restart regularly posting on here, it seems I end up talking myself out of it. While Blogger is indeed a very annoying platform to work on (when first setting up the site I spent hour getting it to look somewhat what I had in mind, and there are lots of limitations that are complicated to circumvent), I've also decided that for continuity's sake, I do want to continue my journey here. This is aided by the fact that I have a very very great abundance of time on my hands now, given then your girl is back from Houston (my brother got a NASA internship!!!), job-less, internship-less, and generally bereft when it comes to all things life. Oh, and it’s summer vacationnnnnn!

As it turns out though, I do also conveniently have a lot of writing stored up from the past year that hasn't seen the light of day since being written. One thing I've also struggled with since the start of Late Luminescence is how to date pieces. Is it when I write them? Or edit them? Decide to post? What if I edit them again? I've finally come to a decision to stick with my practice of having the publish date and time be the first date I started writing the piece, but also including “edited on” dates. This allows me to retain the journal-like quality of my writing journey as it corresponds with my life, along with permitting me to edit my old pieces so that they can all shine to their full potential.

Lastly, I’d love to give this place some love and a revamp! Just making sure all the margins are on point, the alignments are all right, etc. So, that’s the plan… we’ll see what happens!
June 29, 2023 No comments

photo: from the window of my freshman dorm in Berkeley, CA

howdy :)) it's been around six months... instagram kind of has become an addiction, IM IN COLLEGE (bizarre to think the last time i posted i wasn't... that's how normal it's become?), and it's nearly the end of winter break. i've been writing, i promise. 2023: to new chapters!

January 14, 2023 No comments
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Message from Yours Truly

Hey, this is amaryllis :) So, if you're on here, I probably finally allowed you to read my work or this was a totally accident (happy one I hope). Either way, welcome! Also, as a reminder to those who know me-- remember that although much of it may seem like it's based off irl, some of it is fiction. Enjoy, and if you feel compelled to, I would love to see what you think in the comments!

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